It’s 4.30am and in 3 hours’ time I will be admitted once again for surgery to my shoulder. This time I won’t be staying awake as its classed as emergency surgery so will be performed under general anaesthetic. The surgeon knows of our plans to travel tomorrow morning (4 hour drive) to visit Steve’s dad for Christmas Day/Boxing Day and will hopefully get me first on the list. He can’t promise to get me out today as it depends on what happens during the surgery – which will depend on how badly the tendon has been torn. The operation needs to be performed within a very small window of time, so if it doesn’t go ahead as soon as possible then I may lose full function of my left arm. This is serious and means that I am going back to ‘Day One’ and this time my sling will be on for SIX WEEKS full-time, instead of the two weeks previously.

I’ve been lying awake thinking of last time I was in this position – but at least I had time to plan ahead. The freezer was full and I’d sorted out my medication for a month. This time – well it just hasn’t happened so once I get home Steve and I will just have to muddle along. Writing this blog will now prove its use to me as I will be reading it back from the beginning to remind myself of what comes next. Although the thought of having to start all over again is unbearable, to go back to not being able to dress myself, put in my contact lenses or cut up my own food after coming so far, is just awful…. and don’t even get me started on these bloody awful socks!  Another SIX WEEKS of these bloody things ……… I was planning to burn them when they were due off on New Year’s Eve. I think I will make my new countdown to sock burning day 🙂

If it comes to the worst and I don’t get home before Santa arrives – then I will see if I can just stay in hospital over the weekend so that Steve can at least go to see his dad. If I’m going to be in hospital then no point in him being at home on his own so I would prefer he carried on with our plans so that everyone doesn’t miss out on their Christmas Lunch.  Steve and I can sort out something for ourselves once the real Christmas is over.

So until my next update – keep your fingers crossed for me, and thank you for your support so far on this rollercoaster of a journey.